Why getting older isn’t always negative…
1st December 2021
If you didn’t know, today is my birthday! I am officially twenty-six years old and another step closer to being thirty! 730 days ago, I told my dad I would start to behave like an ‘adult’ when I reached twenty-five, safe to say I missed that deadline! 365 days late and I still don’t quite feel THERE yet, if you get what I mean?
It’s safe to say that twenty-five hasn’t been without it’s challenges, but it has definitely been the most rewarding! From tackling lockdowns as a single woman who lived alone, to watching my friends start to settle down and simultaneously be stuck in what felt like some nightmarish dating cycle! Negatives aside, I got to tick off all ten of my goals for 2020 in the first 10 months and REALLY came into my own as an individual! I remember when I turned twenty-two, I was mortified at the thought of turning thirty! Because in my mind it was old, and I subconsciously understood that there would be a constant increasing pressure on meeting ‘the one’ and starting a family.
But for every year I have gotten older, I have become happier! When you’re in school, teachers enforce this ridiculous notion that school will be the ‘best days of your life’ and you will ‘miss it when you are older’. I am sorry to break it to anyone that believes this, but it’s the biggest pile of BS I have ever had the pleasure of being fed. I know people don’t really use birthdays to be sentimental or reflect in this way, but I have spent the last month thinking back to the young woman I was 10 years ago. There is so much I wish she knew, and so much I wish I could tell her. So even if I can’t tell my younger self, I can tell you, but also, I can write this as a reminder to my future self!
Here are ten things I wish my younger self knew:
1) What feels substantial now will probably be irrelevant in time.
Whether it’s lack of popularity in school, the person you like doesn’t like you back or generally not fitting in. Majority of your problems during your teenage/secondary school years will be completely irrelevant to you by the time you turn eighteen. But it will take time (sometimes years) to recognise that none of those things mattered. They are all a part of growing up!
2) Appreciate time on your own.
This one has many meanings, but I mean both, pressure on yourself to have a boyfriend and constantly feeling the need to hang out with people instead of hanging out with myself.
I have friends who met their person at school age, and I think Hollywood had a slight part to play in glamourising such a love story, so much so that I felt like I needed to have my own! While my first boyfriend was lovely, and there was zero pressure to do or be anything I didn’t want. We were just at an age where we were rapidly becoming different people and therefore incompatible (in my opinion). Don’t feel guilty for that! That’s just life!
In terms of friendships, I think we are always too scared to do things on our own when we are young! If I needed a new pair of jeans, it would have to be a big pre-arranged day out with friends. Sometimes out of fear for judgement of being seen as a loner. But learning to enjoy your own company is one of the best things you can do for yourself, at any age!
3) Don’t be in a rush to have life figured out.
The point about relationships in number two also stands in this one! Don’t be in a rush to find ‘the one’, the journey to meeting your person or people is part of the gift that makes any relationship so special.
But I also mean career, I put so much pressure on myself to be at specific stages by the time I reach x years old. But that is also a load of bs. I made myself poorly with stress over something out of my control! Opportunities that are meant for you, WILL happen for you. No sooner than you are ready.
4) If you haven’t found your people yet – it’s ok!
Not all friends are for life, some really are for Christmas (or two!)
5) Learn to say ‘No’.
This one is simple! Say no to things you don’t want to do, say no to things that don’t make you happy and say no to things that will overstretch you! (Don’t take this 100% literally, I can’t say no to paying my bills unfortunately!)
6) Don’t listen to doubters! There is a reason why they are doubting you!
I wish this is something I knew when I was in school, I had a lot of teachers tell my parents that I would never amount to much. “She would be lucky if she spent her career stacking shelves”. To add, there is nothing wrong with that – a job is a job at the end of the day, and I would go back to working at McDonalds in a heartbeat if I really needed too. But for someone who has chosen a career path in which they are in charge of inspiring the next generation, not very inspirational is it…
7) Don’t let anyone’s opinions get in the way of your hobbies and interests.
At the end of the day, they make you happy and unique! I wish I got new friends quicker!
8) Stand up for what’s right, even if you stand alone.
No one in history became known because they blended in!
9) Love you, the way god made you.
Your body, your personality! There is no such thing as perfect, but genuine happiness does exist
10) When an opportunity is denied to you, it is not the end. You have been re-directed. Trust that!
Anyway, getting old is a journey! That journey is a gift, full of memories and stories. Enjoy it for what it is, because we aren’t able to control and predict everything that will happen to us.
One of my wishes for my twenty-sixth chapter is that I get to spend more time doing things I enjoy and spend less time doing things I don’t. I have always enjoyed writing and wanted to start a blog when I was 15, but I was too scared out of fear of backlash from my peers! (Maybe that could’ve been number eleven, start now or don’t seek validation from anyone).